Tag Archives: Jeeves

The Bellowing of Crickets

23 Oct

I spent the last four days in the clutches of a crushing sinus headache. At one point, while climbing out of the car, I realized I must look like Patsy or Edina from Absolutely Fabulous, staggering, bent, squinting, and clutching a drink. In my case, it was Diet Coke, darling, and I didn’t have smeared lipstick and rumpled party clothes, but I’ll bet my hair was plenty askew. And I was holding my keys like Patsy holds her cigarette.

I really should call a doctor about these things, but when I’m ill, I can’t remember or bear to perform such superhuman feats as think or dial a phone. (Do people still say dial?) When I’m better, I forget — in large part because I’m terrified the thing will return just by thinking about it or speaking its name.

So my headaches are like Voldemort (Don’t say that name!), only they have a nose (being of and related to my sinuses). And Ralph Fiennes is nowhere to be seen. Alas.

But now a break! A tentative moment of clarity.

I’ve enjoyed my reprieve by spending the evening eating gummy bears and reading P.G. Wodehouse. It’s my first foray into Wooster & Jeeves — at least as a reader. I shelved the books over and over again in the various libraries and bookstores of my employment. If I didn’t know who wrote them, I’d know his or her last name started with a letter at the end of the alphabet because I can still see where they sat on the long wall of fiction at one particular store which we shall refer to as Barns & Stables.

I can’t remember to get a medical solution to debilitating pain, but I can remember where individual books were shelved fifteen years ago. And the lyrics to obscure Ambrosia songs I haven’t heard since I was in the single digits but which are now playing faintly over the speakers at a loud brew pub.

Anyway, lots of laughs from the books…

  • On Jeeves’ seeming ability to appear as if from thin air (apparate): “I’ve got a cousin who’s what they call a Theosophist, and he says he’s often nearly worked the thing himself, but couldn’t quite bring it off, probably owing to having fed in his boyhood on the flesh of animals killed in anger and pie.” (Those last five words got me.)
  • On a trip away from Manhattan: “The days down on Long island have forty-eight hours in them; you can’t get to sleep at night because of the bellowing of the crickets.”

One week until NaNoWriMo. Gots me a book on Vaudeville. I’ll do a little light research tomorrow.